#13 And even at times, guys are confusing too.

So hey it's already March the 3rd. How time flies so fast huh. Never thought it'd could be this fast. 3 months of schooling. 3 months of suffering with tons of projects and assignments. 3 months of my second year in school. 3 months of trying to move on from you but, failed. 3 months of fighting the urge to text you, to forget you, but failed. Yes, how long does it takes for me to suffer from this pain? Sigh. No matter how much I pull myself through, eventually I fall back to square one. It's just tough. Seeing someone who means so much to you, being with your own friend. Practically, it's just sucks. The feeling you can't even express it. It makes you feel stupid, fool, sad, depress, pathetic, mad, angry, numb. I should tell myself to stop whining. But I do have feelings. Like, do you even care? Ofcourse not. Do you feel the guilt? Not a single bit. But whatever. I was with him before you. I don't care. I'm not over him, yet. Period. This takes a long time to get over him. How long it takes, this feeling will fade away. Maybe.

I used to be so important to you. I used to be the only person you text to the whole day. I used to be your wallpaper on your itouch. I used to be the one whom you called each night. I used to make those silly lame jokes that no others would bother to hear; but only you. I used to be the Facebook Profile that you often view when you goes online. You used to received spammed messages from me each time you woke up early morning for prayers. Well, used to too. Past. Living in the past where every single things are just so right for us.

#12 Once upon a time, I fell in love. Then the person broke my heart.

It's the worst feeling in the world to love and hate someone all the same time. And it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It's funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on but you're stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can't decide what you want. When you have so many things to say but you don't know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them further and further away. It's so hard to think back to how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different and they may never be the same. You tell yourself it's not worth it, but if it really didn't matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it.

#11 Malay saying 'Kalau ada jodoh tak kemana.' Means 'If it's meant to be it will be.'

I know I shouldn't be missing you. But I did. I know I shouldn't think about you. But I did. I know I should move on. But I have yet too. I know I'm not suppose to care about you. But I still do. I know.....I know I should stop hoping. But I'm still hoping. It's hopeless. Tell how how it could be so easy for you but it's the opposite for me. Why it took days for you to forget me when I'm still trying too? How come you could talk easily to her when I avoid talking to you. Wondering how it could be so simple for you yet so tough for me. I should kill my feelings for missing you too much. Le sigh!